9.23.2008
9.20.2008
near death
i was biking up clark street in andersonville; minding my own business when some freak bitch opened his car door without looking. i tried to swerve and avoid the collision - but alas, i could not.
after picking myself up off the middle of clark i immediately called the man an asshole and told him he's supposed to look in his rear view mirror before opening his door. he didn't like my tone of voice and tried to inform me i shouldn't speed down the street. actually, i wasn't speeding, i was going at a leisurely pace enjoying the indian summer - i was paying attention and he is a douche.
the only person concerned with my well-being was a waitress who asked if i was ok through her restaurant door. i like her.
in the best sarcastic tone i could muster i asked him to please excuse me so i could get my shoe. his dumb ass took that as politeness and then criticized me for being nice after calling him an asshole. i thought shoving the door into him to get my shoe was clue enough i hated his guts.
my gear shifter is broken. and i have a scrape on the top of my foot. but i'm a survivor, i'm going to make it.
i hope i fucked the inside of his car real good.
after picking myself up off the middle of clark i immediately called the man an asshole and told him he's supposed to look in his rear view mirror before opening his door. he didn't like my tone of voice and tried to inform me i shouldn't speed down the street. actually, i wasn't speeding, i was going at a leisurely pace enjoying the indian summer - i was paying attention and he is a douche.
the only person concerned with my well-being was a waitress who asked if i was ok through her restaurant door. i like her.
in the best sarcastic tone i could muster i asked him to please excuse me so i could get my shoe. his dumb ass took that as politeness and then criticized me for being nice after calling him an asshole. i thought shoving the door into him to get my shoe was clue enough i hated his guts.
my gear shifter is broken. and i have a scrape on the top of my foot. but i'm a survivor, i'm going to make it.
i hope i fucked the inside of his car real good.
9.17.2008
xoxo
what is it about gossip girl that turns me into a 13 year old girl?
there is something that comes over me whenever i see an ad, commercial or magazine with one of the stars plastered on it. it comes from deep inside and bubbles through my body exploding through me like a thousand moon beams. that is the feeling of love my friends. i love gossip girl.
i don't think it is simply the story lines saturated with teenage sex, angst and back stabbing. though, who doesn't want to know if dan and serina will break up for good this time, or if blair and chuck will face the fact that they're in love and perfect for each other. will nate fully realize that family is more important than money and dump the hagged out twin peaks biatch? I WANT TO KNOW!
it has to be more than the amazing clothes they parade around in. changing outfits for every scene whether it makes sense in the story line or not... they KNOW all we want to do is stare are their pretty bodies clad in even prettier outfits.
does it have something to do with the social commentary on wealth, privilege and power? no... they aren't that good.
i think it may have something to do with the fact it's a cultural phenomenon. i know i know, gossip girl? yes! NO ONE WATCHES THIS SHOW, at least according to the ratings. but EVERYONE IS WATCHING THIS SHOW online and through itunes. they also have the most powerful tool at their fingertips - word of mouth. everyone talks about this show like these kids work and play in their everyday lives.
gossip girl is setting precedent for the next wave in tv/media. maybe i'm making a bigger deal of this show than i should, but for real, it's traversing uncharted territory. i want to know what these trustifarians will do next. and i want to know how this show will utilize new marketing/advertising/media tactics.
there is something that comes over me whenever i see an ad, commercial or magazine with one of the stars plastered on it. it comes from deep inside and bubbles through my body exploding through me like a thousand moon beams. that is the feeling of love my friends. i love gossip girl.
i don't think it is simply the story lines saturated with teenage sex, angst and back stabbing. though, who doesn't want to know if dan and serina will break up for good this time, or if blair and chuck will face the fact that they're in love and perfect for each other. will nate fully realize that family is more important than money and dump the hagged out twin peaks biatch? I WANT TO KNOW!
it has to be more than the amazing clothes they parade around in. changing outfits for every scene whether it makes sense in the story line or not... they KNOW all we want to do is stare are their pretty bodies clad in even prettier outfits.
does it have something to do with the social commentary on wealth, privilege and power? no... they aren't that good.
i think it may have something to do with the fact it's a cultural phenomenon. i know i know, gossip girl? yes! NO ONE WATCHES THIS SHOW, at least according to the ratings. but EVERYONE IS WATCHING THIS SHOW online and through itunes. they also have the most powerful tool at their fingertips - word of mouth. everyone talks about this show like these kids work and play in their everyday lives.
gossip girl is setting precedent for the next wave in tv/media. maybe i'm making a bigger deal of this show than i should, but for real, it's traversing uncharted territory. i want to know what these trustifarians will do next. and i want to know how this show will utilize new marketing/advertising/media tactics.
9.16.2008
poem
i'll have you for breakfast
i'll have you for a midnight snack.
you keep me happy and you keep me thin,
but thanks to you - my insides are not.
if only you were as good for me as fruit,
or jellies and jams.
you make me feel cool,
you make me look cool.
why do you have to kill me in 60 years?
you're a habit i don't want to break,
hearing you burn turns me on.
your lingering smell on my fingertips,
reminds me of the last time we were together.
do right by me,
and i'll do right by you.
i'll have you for a midnight snack.
you keep me happy and you keep me thin,
but thanks to you - my insides are not.
if only you were as good for me as fruit,
or jellies and jams.
you make me feel cool,
you make me look cool.
why do you have to kill me in 60 years?
you're a habit i don't want to break,
hearing you burn turns me on.
your lingering smell on my fingertips,
reminds me of the last time we were together.
do right by me,
and i'll do right by you.
9.15.2008
trash
my landlord is the biggest piece of eurotrash i've ever met. or laid eyes on.
he is the traditional definition of a landlord. my building is owned by a company, and this guy just lives in the complex with his family to keep a constant eye on the place and set fear into every one's heart. he's supposed to respond immediately to our requests with his minions. they don't respond at all. i couldn't use my back door for six months because the key broke off in the door. after repeatedly telling him i needed it fixed - i finally gave up.
one day i left my keys in my apartment and called him to let me in. the only problem with this is he doesn't answer his phone. you have to leave a message, wait for him to listen to the message, and then call back - at which time he'll answer and help you out. that's fucking retarded. why not answer the first time, or call me back... i won't miraculously get into my apartment you stupid fuck.
when he brought me keys to use, he brought my back door key. when i informed him that it wouldn't work he looked dumbfounded and asked why that still wasn't fixed. i don't know, maybe because you're too busy grilling on your jumbo grill and listening to your stupid daughter scream at her boyfriend every night on the phone in the backyard to care about my back door. DO YOUR JOB FREAK BITCH.
i'm not the cleanest person - so my apartment resembles a crack house. when i told them i was moving out, i asked to tell me before they showed it. the first time they complied, but i didn't clean up - i was sticking it to the man. the next time they wanted to show it he told me the night before in hopes i'd clean up. i don't know how familiar you are with landlord laws, but ten hour notice is illegal. i kind of cleaned up.
to top it all off, days later i noticed my ac unit was re-duct taped to my window. he was in my apartment without asking. WAY ILLEGAL!!!
i'm suing.
he is the traditional definition of a landlord. my building is owned by a company, and this guy just lives in the complex with his family to keep a constant eye on the place and set fear into every one's heart. he's supposed to respond immediately to our requests with his minions. they don't respond at all. i couldn't use my back door for six months because the key broke off in the door. after repeatedly telling him i needed it fixed - i finally gave up.
one day i left my keys in my apartment and called him to let me in. the only problem with this is he doesn't answer his phone. you have to leave a message, wait for him to listen to the message, and then call back - at which time he'll answer and help you out. that's fucking retarded. why not answer the first time, or call me back... i won't miraculously get into my apartment you stupid fuck.
when he brought me keys to use, he brought my back door key. when i informed him that it wouldn't work he looked dumbfounded and asked why that still wasn't fixed. i don't know, maybe because you're too busy grilling on your jumbo grill and listening to your stupid daughter scream at her boyfriend every night on the phone in the backyard to care about my back door. DO YOUR JOB FREAK BITCH.
i'm not the cleanest person - so my apartment resembles a crack house. when i told them i was moving out, i asked to tell me before they showed it. the first time they complied, but i didn't clean up - i was sticking it to the man. the next time they wanted to show it he told me the night before in hopes i'd clean up. i don't know how familiar you are with landlord laws, but ten hour notice is illegal. i kind of cleaned up.
to top it all off, days later i noticed my ac unit was re-duct taped to my window. he was in my apartment without asking. WAY ILLEGAL!!!
i'm suing.
9.11.2008
hands
why do little old ladies hold hands?
are they pulling some boston marriage shit? in their old age they finally feel free to express their lesbian love? or do they hold hands because they're pulling back at a lost childhood experience?
maybe they just hold hands so the chances of blowing away decrease.
are they pulling some boston marriage shit? in their old age they finally feel free to express their lesbian love? or do they hold hands because they're pulling back at a lost childhood experience?
maybe they just hold hands so the chances of blowing away decrease.
9.09.2008
trauma
i'm fond of childhood activities. one of the best is taking small things, soaking them in water and watching them grow into bigger things. this is typically done with scuba-divers, fish, inanimate objects and dinosaurs.
yesterday my world experienced a small slice of magic when someone presented me with a little capsule. it was expected that this capsule would dissolve in warm water, releasing a sponge dinosaur. i was even presented with an example of a red sponge stegosaurus.
after preparing the bowl of warm water and plopping the capsule into the water, i waited. i saw something begin to take shape. i walked away. a watched pot never boils - i thought.
i came back and what expanded in the bowl is something that resembles a dinosaur NOT. it looks like a flying squirrel, or a unicorn without a uni-corn. or it looks like a green sponge blob, which is what it is. if i was a child, i would be really disappointed. i was really disappointed as an adult.
i'm thankful i saved one child from a traumatic experience they would no doubt remember far into adulthood.
yesterday my world experienced a small slice of magic when someone presented me with a little capsule. it was expected that this capsule would dissolve in warm water, releasing a sponge dinosaur. i was even presented with an example of a red sponge stegosaurus.
after preparing the bowl of warm water and plopping the capsule into the water, i waited. i saw something begin to take shape. i walked away. a watched pot never boils - i thought.
i came back and what expanded in the bowl is something that resembles a dinosaur NOT. it looks like a flying squirrel, or a unicorn without a uni-corn. or it looks like a green sponge blob, which is what it is. if i was a child, i would be really disappointed. i was really disappointed as an adult.
i'm thankful i saved one child from a traumatic experience they would no doubt remember far into adulthood.
9.08.2008
lisa wagner
from now on, the only trips i will agree to take must involve seeing a friend from one place in another place.
exhibit a: madison trip and lisa wagner.
lisa wagner is the friend. the trip was to return an automobile. lisa wagner went to a concert with a friend who was on business at said concert.
i visited her at the roadside inn. in that inn you could smoke in the room - to indulge in this luxury you must disregard the blood stain on the sheets.
exhibit a: madison trip and lisa wagner.
lisa wagner is the friend. the trip was to return an automobile. lisa wagner went to a concert with a friend who was on business at said concert.
i visited her at the roadside inn. in that inn you could smoke in the room - to indulge in this luxury you must disregard the blood stain on the sheets.
9.03.2008
use a hose
unemployment day one
i've spent more money today than i would on a normal day. now i understand why the poor stay poor. everything cheap costs a lot of money and it's really unhealthy for you. if you have nothing to do - you spend money. and go crazy. i've gone crazy in one day.
i half assed looking for jobs. two people contacted me, but they are for jobs that will keep me poor. so i'll eat junk food and get fat and then have low self esteem and then not be able to get a job that fulfills me. man - they really know how to keep a brother down.
i've already begun to drink heavily today too. i will drink heavily until i find a job. that might also keep this brother down. but - i'll feel superficially better.
find me a job. or teach me how to pimp.
i've spent more money today than i would on a normal day. now i understand why the poor stay poor. everything cheap costs a lot of money and it's really unhealthy for you. if you have nothing to do - you spend money. and go crazy. i've gone crazy in one day.
i half assed looking for jobs. two people contacted me, but they are for jobs that will keep me poor. so i'll eat junk food and get fat and then have low self esteem and then not be able to get a job that fulfills me. man - they really know how to keep a brother down.
i've already begun to drink heavily today too. i will drink heavily until i find a job. that might also keep this brother down. but - i'll feel superficially better.
find me a job. or teach me how to pimp.
9.02.2008
i now know
getting cannibalized won't always happen on buses
four parents can be cooler than two
boating is best
gays are the same anywhere
families are extremely welcoming
wisconsin has the strangest tourist attractions
kellen is still my favorite nephew
i have the best bff in the world
i will turn my ticket in
my parents are better than i thought
omaha is an enigma
she & him is the only acceptable music to listen to on a road trip
friends can be extremely welcoming
i will live on a lake someday
small town bars are where the magic happens
skinny dipping should only be done en masse
it's not a good vacation unless you come back injured
thing will never be the same
four parents can be cooler than two
boating is best
gays are the same anywhere
families are extremely welcoming
wisconsin has the strangest tourist attractions
kellen is still my favorite nephew
i have the best bff in the world
i will turn my ticket in
my parents are better than i thought
omaha is an enigma
she & him is the only acceptable music to listen to on a road trip
friends can be extremely welcoming
i will live on a lake someday
small town bars are where the magic happens
skinny dipping should only be done en masse
it's not a good vacation unless you come back injured
thing will never be the same
8.21.2008
hocus pocus
lately i've been reading up on future trends. not fashion, hair or home décor - more societal and communication related. how does one predict these things you ask...
they don't really. it's all opinion and those are like ass holes.
however, some of the things they say really make sense, partly because it's the type of world i want to see and also because i will make a lot of money.
i'm not one to be totally motivated by the dolla dolla billz, but i think i can encapsulate this stardust and run with it.
some guy said "the times they are a changin'" and i want it. this past decade has been crappy. no one is doing anything different, no one is motivated, no one is active. we've all been sitting in front of our computers writing stupid blogs about self absorption. all we want is tech-knowledgy but use it to play snood.
now, i don't know anything about technology - but i realize that all this mindless shit our britney obsessed society plays with could be used for something more important than posting drunken pictures.
also, why does everyone have to move forward, disregarding the past? i like getting letters in the mail and talking to people in person. do we have to be so technology focused? do we have to change everything in order to do something new? history repeats itself - make it work!
i don't really know what i'm talking about.
they don't really. it's all opinion and those are like ass holes.
however, some of the things they say really make sense, partly because it's the type of world i want to see and also because i will make a lot of money.
i'm not one to be totally motivated by the dolla dolla billz, but i think i can encapsulate this stardust and run with it.
some guy said "the times they are a changin'" and i want it. this past decade has been crappy. no one is doing anything different, no one is motivated, no one is active. we've all been sitting in front of our computers writing stupid blogs about self absorption. all we want is tech-knowledgy but use it to play snood.
now, i don't know anything about technology - but i realize that all this mindless shit our britney obsessed society plays with could be used for something more important than posting drunken pictures.
also, why does everyone have to move forward, disregarding the past? i like getting letters in the mail and talking to people in person. do we have to be so technology focused? do we have to change everything in order to do something new? history repeats itself - make it work!
i don't really know what i'm talking about.
8.19.2008
i'm a bitch
this may come as no surprise to some of you.... but i'm an asshole. i'm pretty sure this started at conception. my parents must have been fighting and got so turned on by the intense rage running through them that they effed - producing me. i can't come up with any other reason besides my remarkably low self esteem, which is a result of my parents anyway so F U MOM AND DAD!
i was mean in elementary school, especially when a girl had such a big crush on me that she wrote me a love letter. being the stupid shit i was, i read it aloud to all my friends and then tore it up in her face. i've since apologized to her for that...
middle school was a wake up call when i had bad clothes, acne and clear braces. you'd think this experience would help me see the error of my ways. NOT! i just got bitter and jaded at the ripe age of 13.
i was sneaky in high school. i bottled up my douche so much that i would just stop talking to people i wanted to be mean to. i also took it out on my family, which, as stated before, i blame for all my problems. i felt claustrophobic in that awkward leave it to beaver world ed and marilyn were trying to create.
i've tried taking it out on random strangers. being a condescending fuck didn't make me feel better. instead, i just felt bad about being mean and then got meaner to the people around me. inside i'm screaming, 'stop! you're just being mean - for no good reason! KNOCK IT OFF!' outside i'm ripping the victim to shreds with my words.
if only i'd listened in 3rd grade when they told us you will not feel better about yourself by making others feel bad.
man - i'm so fucking emo.
i was mean in elementary school, especially when a girl had such a big crush on me that she wrote me a love letter. being the stupid shit i was, i read it aloud to all my friends and then tore it up in her face. i've since apologized to her for that...
middle school was a wake up call when i had bad clothes, acne and clear braces. you'd think this experience would help me see the error of my ways. NOT! i just got bitter and jaded at the ripe age of 13.
i was sneaky in high school. i bottled up my douche so much that i would just stop talking to people i wanted to be mean to. i also took it out on my family, which, as stated before, i blame for all my problems. i felt claustrophobic in that awkward leave it to beaver world ed and marilyn were trying to create.
i've tried taking it out on random strangers. being a condescending fuck didn't make me feel better. instead, i just felt bad about being mean and then got meaner to the people around me. inside i'm screaming, 'stop! you're just being mean - for no good reason! KNOCK IT OFF!' outside i'm ripping the victim to shreds with my words.
if only i'd listened in 3rd grade when they told us you will not feel better about yourself by making others feel bad.
man - i'm so fucking emo.
8.18.2008
8.14.2008
the little things
i've driven the company car on three different errands today, all of which could have been accomplished at once (or not at all) had anyone thought strategically.
on the second walk back to the office, i came upon two big black bugs doing it on the sidewalk. as i strolled by, one flew away - obviously embarrassed by being caught in the act. this made me smile, as along the same sidewalk someone had permanently etched 'dykes rule' in the cement, preceded by two stick figure ladies holding hands. my mind then wandered to thoughts of homosexuality in the insect community.
on the third walk back to the office i walked down the same sidewalk. as i approached the two cemented lesbians, i saw the same big black bug on the sidewalk - obviously dead. my mind then wandered to thoughts of cannibalism in the insect community.
on the second walk back to the office, i came upon two big black bugs doing it on the sidewalk. as i strolled by, one flew away - obviously embarrassed by being caught in the act. this made me smile, as along the same sidewalk someone had permanently etched 'dykes rule' in the cement, preceded by two stick figure ladies holding hands. my mind then wandered to thoughts of homosexuality in the insect community.
on the third walk back to the office i walked down the same sidewalk. as i approached the two cemented lesbians, i saw the same big black bug on the sidewalk - obviously dead. my mind then wandered to thoughts of cannibalism in the insect community.
8.13.2008
8.12.2008
give me wings
i was vehemently against red bull. it tastes like crap, it looks like crap, it contains crap. it's only refreshing when served with jager.
the hell that entraps me 8-5, M-F basically serves red bull on tap. i resisted for more than two months.
i was about to snooze at my desk when i realized, that's a bad idea. i decided to bite the bullet and go for a red bull. not that sugar free shit infants and the elderly drink - straight to the original. i wanted my body and mind to be vitalized with taurine.
something ran through my veins that i couldn't explain. i truly felt as though two red bulls were butting heads - except the golden sun behind them was my heart and it beat faster and faster with each thrust of the horns. i was so efficient, things came so clearly. it DID increase concentration and it DID improve reaction speed. my performance WAS improved ESPECIALLY during times of increased stress or strain. i didn't need to be here for nine hours everyday; i could accomplish an entire week's worth of tasks in 10 min!
i got another one. the bulls got bigger. I AM A GOLDEN GOD!
i had to stop after that because i didn't want to have a heart attack.
i've been hooked ever since. i save them for afternoon treats and have at least two a day. i don't know how i functioned before.
with my habit of binge drinking, pack-a-day cigs, junk food diet and now red bull - i'll live to see 27. maybe.
the hell that entraps me 8-5, M-F basically serves red bull on tap. i resisted for more than two months.
i was about to snooze at my desk when i realized, that's a bad idea. i decided to bite the bullet and go for a red bull. not that sugar free shit infants and the elderly drink - straight to the original. i wanted my body and mind to be vitalized with taurine.
something ran through my veins that i couldn't explain. i truly felt as though two red bulls were butting heads - except the golden sun behind them was my heart and it beat faster and faster with each thrust of the horns. i was so efficient, things came so clearly. it DID increase concentration and it DID improve reaction speed. my performance WAS improved ESPECIALLY during times of increased stress or strain. i didn't need to be here for nine hours everyday; i could accomplish an entire week's worth of tasks in 10 min!
i got another one. the bulls got bigger. I AM A GOLDEN GOD!
i had to stop after that because i didn't want to have a heart attack.
i've been hooked ever since. i save them for afternoon treats and have at least two a day. i don't know how i functioned before.
with my habit of binge drinking, pack-a-day cigs, junk food diet and now red bull - i'll live to see 27. maybe.
8.11.2008
volpe
this is my public apology to ashley volpe for not seeing her on her birthday.
sometimes, one gets too drunk too early and loses track of time.
only to realize the time once the bus stops.
only to attempt biking to wicker park.
only to realize that doesn't work after drinking too early.
volpe, expect something from me in the near future.
i love you
sometimes, one gets too drunk too early and loses track of time.
only to realize the time once the bus stops.
only to attempt biking to wicker park.
only to realize that doesn't work after drinking too early.
volpe, expect something from me in the near future.
i love you
8.08.2008
west siEEEEEde
*insert mad beat at own discretion*
it's a hard knock everyday life i lead
workin' for change down on my knees
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
my momma be illin
my baby be chillin
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
stayin in my ravens-hood
drinkin at the ravens-pub
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
my baby momma calls me off the chain
i ain't supportin no baby
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
i got my posse by my side
poppin caps in yo ass
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
fuck that pussy bitch
suck my dick woman
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
i got mad skills yo
but fuck me like i'm dead
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
peace betch
it's a hard knock everyday life i lead
workin' for change down on my knees
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
my momma be illin
my baby be chillin
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
stayin in my ravens-hood
drinkin at the ravens-pub
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
my baby momma calls me off the chain
i ain't supportin no baby
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
i got my posse by my side
poppin caps in yo ass
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
fuck that pussy bitch
suck my dick woman
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
i got mad skills yo
but fuck me like i'm dead
I'M A MOTHA FUCKIN GANGSTA
peace betch
8.06.2008
games i play
currently, i'm eating a chicken salad bagel sandwich, typing up this blog entry, and holding my pee as long as i possibly can.
most people would probably call this torture, but i'm a masochistic fuck! mind over body is a tough game to play and i like to teeter on the edge of soggy shorts.
in retrospect, i can't remember when this started. was it in high school as the track coaches encouraged us to hold it till after the race, for that extra push to the finish line? no - i skipped practice and smoked secret cigarettes, killing time before heading home to eat chips 'n dip.
there was only one time i was defeated by my bladder. my age was in the double digits (i think) and i was being the best little brother ever - making my sister a sandwich for lunch. i had to pee soooooo bad, but even more, i NEEDED to finish this sandwich before i did. i was crossing my legs, doing the toddler 'pee-pee dance' and as soon as i'd smashed the pb to the j, i ran to the bathroom.
halfway across the kitchen - my bladder triumphed. it wasn't so much a relief, as i felt i was being sucked through a black hole. i paused for a second, overcome by the understanding i was peeing my pants - then hopped the remainder of the way to the bathroom/shower.
my mind still dominates.. but i'd rather leave work early.
most people would probably call this torture, but i'm a masochistic fuck! mind over body is a tough game to play and i like to teeter on the edge of soggy shorts.
in retrospect, i can't remember when this started. was it in high school as the track coaches encouraged us to hold it till after the race, for that extra push to the finish line? no - i skipped practice and smoked secret cigarettes, killing time before heading home to eat chips 'n dip.
there was only one time i was defeated by my bladder. my age was in the double digits (i think) and i was being the best little brother ever - making my sister a sandwich for lunch. i had to pee soooooo bad, but even more, i NEEDED to finish this sandwich before i did. i was crossing my legs, doing the toddler 'pee-pee dance' and as soon as i'd smashed the pb to the j, i ran to the bathroom.
halfway across the kitchen - my bladder triumphed. it wasn't so much a relief, as i felt i was being sucked through a black hole. i paused for a second, overcome by the understanding i was peeing my pants - then hopped the remainder of the way to the bathroom/shower.
my mind still dominates.. but i'd rather leave work early.
8.05.2008
hate in my heart
my daily commute consists of riding the 50 damen bus down to catch the 65 grand bus. it takes me far too long getting to work and the bus is always crowded. however, the buses are reasonably reliable and i end up riding with the same people everyday.
even if i get the seat in the back with the extra leg room, i start each day with hate in my heart.
i need to let it out.
there is one person on the bus whom i've never directly interacted with, except one day when i had to sit next to her and our arms touched for 45 minutes - i wanted to punch her in the face.
she's probably my age, has dark brown hair and greasy blond highlights. i don't know if she received the 2002 memo, but - GREASY BLOND HIGHLIGHTS ON DARK BROWN HAIR ARE OVER. she also texts on a phone she keeps in a case the ENTIRE ride down damen. if she chooses to be intellectual for a day, she reads books with nondescript covers, but i can tell they suck because the type face is so big it cannot be for anyone over the age of 14 (that's generous).
please do not assume i am so shallow as to hate her only for these reasons, my hatred stems from a much deeper, socially conscious place. her bus etiquette is horrendous.
she is "that girl" who sits on the outside of a two seater until someone comes and awkwardly stands next to her staring, only for her to swivel sideways so they can maneuver around her. she'll also stow her backpack on the seat next to her while the bus visibly fills to capacity ONLY to move it if someone asks her to. I HATE HER.
the other thing she does is stand in the exit door space and doesn't move when people try to get out, this drives me bonkers. everyday she lumbers over to wait there a few stops before she has to and i have to barrel past her in order to exit before the green light turns off.
i stare her down daily. i think she fears me.
and i love it.
today she exited the same stop i did and trotted down grand street as she's never done before, putting her hand over her face as she passed me by. i watched her walk away, she was aimless.
i've seen her at the grocery store before.
naturally the girl i hate would be my stalker.
even if i get the seat in the back with the extra leg room, i start each day with hate in my heart.
i need to let it out.
there is one person on the bus whom i've never directly interacted with, except one day when i had to sit next to her and our arms touched for 45 minutes - i wanted to punch her in the face.
she's probably my age, has dark brown hair and greasy blond highlights. i don't know if she received the 2002 memo, but - GREASY BLOND HIGHLIGHTS ON DARK BROWN HAIR ARE OVER. she also texts on a phone she keeps in a case the ENTIRE ride down damen. if she chooses to be intellectual for a day, she reads books with nondescript covers, but i can tell they suck because the type face is so big it cannot be for anyone over the age of 14 (that's generous).
please do not assume i am so shallow as to hate her only for these reasons, my hatred stems from a much deeper, socially conscious place. her bus etiquette is horrendous.
she is "that girl" who sits on the outside of a two seater until someone comes and awkwardly stands next to her staring, only for her to swivel sideways so they can maneuver around her. she'll also stow her backpack on the seat next to her while the bus visibly fills to capacity ONLY to move it if someone asks her to. I HATE HER.
the other thing she does is stand in the exit door space and doesn't move when people try to get out, this drives me bonkers. everyday she lumbers over to wait there a few stops before she has to and i have to barrel past her in order to exit before the green light turns off.
i stare her down daily. i think she fears me.
and i love it.
today she exited the same stop i did and trotted down grand street as she's never done before, putting her hand over her face as she passed me by. i watched her walk away, she was aimless.
i've seen her at the grocery store before.
naturally the girl i hate would be my stalker.
8.04.2008
cheese head
i accomplished everything i was looking to do in sconsin minus the water park.
i obtained a bicycle and went on a really great date that included fancy food and imax batman.
i also got to experience bro-life sconsin style. once they got over my chicago fashion (american apparel is currently being constructed in madison) and i had a few drinks - it was an excellent time. from what i remember, bro-life consists of light hearted jokes, youtube videos, bar hopping at a ridiculous speed, lots of shots and texting girls you aren't hanging out with. it's also socially acceptable to drink sparks before you go out.
i found that gays frequent the same bars as bros. as much as they tried to camouflage, i could spot one a mile away. after a shot the size of a drink, i called to a group of them (in my best straight voice), "hey! homos!" the terror in their eyes quickly faded and we embarked on a conversation about gay-life sconsin style.
overall, i'd go back.
i obtained a bicycle and went on a really great date that included fancy food and imax batman.
i also got to experience bro-life sconsin style. once they got over my chicago fashion (american apparel is currently being constructed in madison) and i had a few drinks - it was an excellent time. from what i remember, bro-life consists of light hearted jokes, youtube videos, bar hopping at a ridiculous speed, lots of shots and texting girls you aren't hanging out with. it's also socially acceptable to drink sparks before you go out.
i found that gays frequent the same bars as bros. as much as they tried to camouflage, i could spot one a mile away. after a shot the size of a drink, i called to a group of them (in my best straight voice), "hey! homos!" the terror in their eyes quickly faded and we embarked on a conversation about gay-life sconsin style.
overall, i'd go back.
7.31.2008
secrets
i'm drinking secret margaritas with amber at work.
my bosses are all on vacation.
i love no bosses.
my bosses are all on vacation.
i love no bosses.
meet the kronz's
i have a big weekend ahead. wisconsin bound to meet the in-laws, and i pee myself a little each time i think about it.
the last in-laws i met were my high school girlfriend's. all i had to worry about was coming to the door to pick her up, be polite, charming and assert my heterosexuality- while trying to convince them their daughter isn't insane for dating a homo. that's a lot of pressure to put on a 17 year old.
what's more pressure, is being a 22 year old homo meeting the in-laws. not only do i have to be polite and charming while asserting a level of heterosexuality (so they don't think their son is dating a raging queen) but i have to overcome any baggage they carry from having a gay son. i know they're fine with it, but coming from my own midwestern family - it's complicated. not only do i have to be confronted with my own insecurities of my sexuality i have to be confronted with the insecurities of people i don't know and need to impress.
i don't do awkward well.
i'll be drunk.
i will however (with the grace of god) go to the largest water park in the country; dare i say the world. i'll get a carton of cigarettes and cheap drinks at bars. i'm also going to hook up with my boyfriend in his childhood bedroom.
please - be jealous.
4 in-laws - (1 dad + 1 mom) + 1 fake rachel = magic
the last in-laws i met were my high school girlfriend's. all i had to worry about was coming to the door to pick her up, be polite, charming and assert my heterosexuality- while trying to convince them their daughter isn't insane for dating a homo. that's a lot of pressure to put on a 17 year old.
what's more pressure, is being a 22 year old homo meeting the in-laws. not only do i have to be polite and charming while asserting a level of heterosexuality (so they don't think their son is dating a raging queen) but i have to overcome any baggage they carry from having a gay son. i know they're fine with it, but coming from my own midwestern family - it's complicated. not only do i have to be confronted with my own insecurities of my sexuality i have to be confronted with the insecurities of people i don't know and need to impress.
i don't do awkward well.
i'll be drunk.
i will however (with the grace of god) go to the largest water park in the country; dare i say the world. i'll get a carton of cigarettes and cheap drinks at bars. i'm also going to hook up with my boyfriend in his childhood bedroom.
please - be jealous.
4 in-laws - (1 dad + 1 mom) + 1 fake rachel = magic
7.30.2008
rebirth
i've been living an evolution, both of character and of my online life. my character evolution is less interesting and mostly to be saved for my super secret journal that only godfrey and i have access to. godfrey is my cat... everyone needs to know this as he is the singular most important person in my life and i'm getting a tattoo to commemorate him, even though he's still alive.
to describe my online evolution, let us begin at the beginning. i cannot remember the site name, but my blog mostly consisted of inside jokes and stupid 16 year old insights. it was started out of jealousy towards an elite group of kids at my school. they paid money for a special website where special people blogged. mine didn't compare.
the next phase of my evolution was to infiltrate their blog. i succeeded, oh did i succeed. i mostly just piggie-backed on my bff who started dating the site host. the other bloggers were none-too-happy about the recent additions, but i proved myself a worthy blogger and an awesome person, so the complaints didn't last long. that blog mostly consisted of talking about cats, spit and parties.
i finally feel like a butterfly, or a bonobo. probably a bonobo. i have a grown up blog as a mostly grown up person. maybe i'll cultivate my interests and blog about something that will take me to international fame.
the future is open, i am the possibilities.
i'm back. fuck me like i'm dead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
