the last in-laws i met were my high school girlfriend's. all i had to worry about was coming to the door to pick her up, be polite, charming and assert my heterosexuality- while trying to convince them their daughter isn't insane for dating a homo. that's a lot of pressure to put on a 17 year old.
what's more pressure, is being a 22 year old homo meeting the in-laws. not only do i have to be polite and charming while asserting a level of heterosexuality (so they don't think their son is dating a raging queen) but i have to overcome any baggage they carry from having a gay son. i know they're fine with it, but coming from my own midwestern family - it's complicated. not only do i have to be confronted with my own insecurities of my sexuality i have to be confronted with the insecurities of people i don't know and need to impress.
i don't do awkward well.
i'll be drunk.
i will however (with the grace of god) go to the largest water park in the country; dare i say the world. i'll get a carton of cigarettes and cheap drinks at bars. i'm also going to hook up with my boyfriend in his childhood bedroom.
please - be jealous.
4 in-laws - (1 dad + 1 mom) + 1 fake rachel = magic
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