oops

i broke my tibia. i fell off my balcony. apparently everything bad ive ever done finally caught up with me. falling three stories and landing on a fence probably should have killed/paralyzed me. thats what everyones been telling me.

maybe its too fresh - but im probably supposed to gain wisdom and perspective from this. i havent. i could say, 'ive found who truly cares about me and the friends that are real.' the truth is - i could have predicted how everyone reacted. there werent any surprises.

ill probably drink less and not fall off balconies after this, but beyond that - it hasnt given me a clearer perspective on my life. after three more weeks of gimping around i might tell a different story.

and hopin'

not that im especially superstitious, but i always wish on eye lashes, stars and the clock. while thats not terribly superstitious - the anxiety i get from these activities would say otherwise.

maybe its wrong, but i wish any time the clock has the same numbers all the way across. this includes 1:11 and such. some say that doesnt count and you can only wish at times like 11:11. false. i also have to repeat the wish verbally the number of times the clock shows. twice for 2:22, twelve times for 12:12. if i dont make it - the wish will not come true. i also have to blow a kiss after wishing at every clock i see that reads the time. hence the anxiety. its an effing process to make my dreams come true.

eyelashes are slightly easier - but i also cheat to myself. traditionally, i would need to close the eyelash between my thumb and pointer finger while guessing which finger it will end up on when i pull them apart. if i get this wrong - wish is over, no good. however, if i get it right i can continue. i then make a wish, and blow it off my finger. if it does not blow off - wish is over, no good. if it does, my dreams will come true. i havent been doing the first step recently and i believe thats been detrimental. hence, my anxiety - but also, that whole process is anxiety ridden.

i should just stick to birthday candles. anxiety once a year.

im going down

in true train wreck fashion, my weekend was a hot mess.

it all started innocently enough with a family dinner at mi tierra. once you add the live mariachi band, four pitchers of margaritas, a personalized sombrero and a sparkler cup cake - things get tainted.

if that experience wasnt enough for me, next i trotted over to uncle fattys. i was unaware this place existed and i wish i still was. it was repeatedly referred to as my new haircut. true.

after drinking that away, i stumble home to find an entire band at my apt. granted - they were probably 17 years old and mormon.

all in all it was pretty difficult to wake up for a graduation today.

oh, and i found this online.... when my friend turned this in the teacher asked if i was on drugs. nope. thats just me at 20.

lame-o

as of late, my life has been uninteresting. i take that back. its really interesting, in an uninteresting way.

settling in with new roommates is always fun. learning anything and everything about each other while getting obliterated is something i do best. but im starting to get bored. or at least, im ready for an adventure.

well, ive had plenty of adventures this weekend - but i guess my summer craving has been peaked and now im on the look out for more. how can you beat a weekend of fun dipping, art showing, party crashing, never-have-i-evering, crush awkwarding and bk lounging? you really cant. im a firm believer that all of the above are what life is about.

gimmie more. soon. now. fast.

oh yea, and theres this new lady in my life...

happy mom day

the weekends are destroying me. my mother would be disappointed.

maybe ill look into philanthropic efforts today, in honor of mothering.

maybe ill just eat burger king and watch tv.

all in the family

im a father of three now. godfrey is learning how to share. he doesnt do that well.

what he does do well is rape. he attempts rape on rosie about 5x a day. its pretty hott. rosies starting to like it though, i caught her sniffing his butt and licking him. theres love in this apt - that means its good.

godfreys step-brother bowie might be my new bff. i love him.

i have internet kinda

i feel like an addict finally getting my fix.

today i was waiting for the bus after a day that was too long. these girls who were no older (generously) than 16 were waiting at the same stop.

one of the girls was having a phone conversation and all i heard was 'it couldnt be your baby. she slept with him a week and a half ago.' prior to this, she was asking the boy on the other line about the girls menstrual cycle, acting as an expert on when and how a girl can get pregnant. judging by the information she was spouting, she is going to get pregnant very soon.

now, this whole situation was shocking, but what was even more shocking - the sexperts two friends were nonchalantly listening to this conversation unfold. at one point, one turns to the other and says, 'im really horny'.

i 'bout lost it.