sometimes i lay in bed and wonder why i drank so much the night before.

sometimes i lay in bed dreading doing what im supposed to.

sometimes i lay in bed all day accomplishing nothing.

sometimes i lay in bed and eat.

sometimes i lay in bed and watch stylista on cwtv.com

sometimes i lay in bed and watch porn.

sometimes i lay in bed and don't need to watch porn.

sometimes i lay in bed and creep people i barely know on facebook.

sometimes i lay in bed and cuddle.

sometimes i lay in bed and laugh.

sometimes i lay in bed and cry.

sometimes i lay in bed and smoke.

sometimes i lay in bed and cut my fingernails.

sometimes i lay in bed and blog.


free night

everyone enjoys free. most of the time you have to make free happen for you, other times it comes to you.

friday night started out like any other weekend night, playing edward 40 hands with some of your closest girl friends. i quickly got drunk and sick of sitting around, so a few of us wandered off to a bar. seeing as it's winter time, it was too cold to walk and no one wanted to spend money. we decided to flag down the fateful cab.

i told the cab driver my female friend would show him her boobs if he'd drive us down the street. he told us he didn't need to see the boobs and took us anyway. we were so grateful.

as we entered the bar, before cover happened, brad pulled out a blackberry. he found this in the cab and while we talked about what to do with it - it rang. oddly enough, bradley was on the other line. he inquired as to who i was and where i was and if he could get his phone back. since i'm a nice person i told him to come 'n get it. as the conversation ended he promised, 'the next martini is on me!'

when he got there he was completely wasted and i informed him no one drinks martinis. he bought us all a round of rum and cokes while marveling at how awesome it was he got his phone back and how incredible it was that we were nice enough to give it back. on that note, i made him buy us more drinks. he was so drunk he couldn't sign the bill. i started ignoring him and he finally ghosted. maybe i took advantage of him, but i mean - i could have gotten some $$$ for that phone. and he probably lost it again on the ride home.

then we got a free ride home from my ex-boyfriend. idiot.




i ate lunch at a bar and drank a pitcher of beer. in my unstable emotional/mental state - this was a bad idea.

i went home, took off all my clothes and climbed under the covers in a depressive state. i know, im crazy.

the next thing i know, brad clammers into the room, blasting fergalicious, while wearing only a kurta and hot pink wig. he was also carrying a retractable knife which he used in his interpretive dance.

i then realized, im not the crazy one.



five o'clock p.m. means nothing when you're unemployed. but on friday night, it signified the beginning of my own infinite playlist. roomie busted into my room with the adventure of traveling to madison for just one night. to see a band. from that second on, everything fell in and out of place perfectly.

we all piled into the car destined for downtown chicago, st. charles and finally the high noon saloon. we got lost on our way to st. charles and it set us back an hour. we finally made it to the suburban hell and successfully accomplished an escape from the beige prison. then we got lost again.

when the bright lights of the capital building finally came into view, we knew we'd made it. we downed a few drinks and prepared to dance. in a mix of hello kitty teenagers and western wear 40 year olds, we were the most important people in the room. i excelled at a dance off with a leather wearing spaz created and judged completely in my own head.

as we dramatically exited the dance floor the band called in the distance, 'hey! where did those kids go?' it was our time.

the night blurred with malibu rum, mom made jello shots and hot tub disney songs.

as we drove back at five in the morning to insure our friend was able to wheel dead bodies around, i felt like a pretend human. but, as the sun rose, i felt alive.


new beginnings

now that i'm back, i will prolong the job search by crafting. since my halloween costumes were such a success, and i loved them - i decided to finally get the hobby i've been talking about.

the kentucky democratic party was nice enough to allow me to steal a canvas bag. i'm getting artsy on it's ass. i'm also getting retro on it's ass.

maybe instead of getting a real job, i'll craft for dollarz. i will do hoodie halloween costumes and retro canvas bags.

man. i'm soo hip.



tomorrow is my last day in kentucky. i must say, i'm sad. it's been a great experience and i've met a lot of great people i never would have had the opportunity to. some of them i wish i hadn't, but for the most part it was good.

miss class has become my best friend and i don't think i'll be the same without her in my life 24/7. thank god for video chat. i also promised her this - kentucky is not as hick as i've made it sound. well.... parts of it are, but the part that i lived in was not hick at all. it was right across the river from cincinnati and was basically cincinnati. cincinnati is kind of ghetto - but i swear this area is nice.

it was nice to slow down from chicago. to work hard on something that had the potential to make a difference was really rewarding. too bad we lost. kentucky is backwoods, i guess that wasn't a surprise to anyone but us.

i'll be back to the windy city on saturday. there is no future set in stone. let's see where i go next.



after romping in the kentucky woods for a bit, i walked back to the car. mind you, this is the sticks..

i saw/heard a chunky child (sans shirt) scream in a southern accent, "BILLFORD! can i use your blue-tooth?!"

answered with, "NO!"

followed by, "PLEEAAAAAAASE!"

maybe you had to be there - priceless.