repent

the other day i was downtown with a friend. while walking, i saw the shiny glint of laundry money. i bent down to swipe it up and continued going. from the corner of my eye i saw a homeless man sitting in close proximity to the quarter and as i left, heard him call after me for the money.

at first i thought, if he wanted the quarter so badly he would have gone and picked it up. it was fair game. then the anxiety crept in. maybe i was just on a dateline episode and failed miserably at compassion. then i felt bad for assuming it was his loss for not getting off his ass and picking the quarter up himself. minor anxiety turned into large scale panic as i realized i was a horrible human.

it was decided that the next homeless person i saw, i would give them the quarter, ridding myself of the bad karma. turns out - homeless people are like pay phones or restrooms - when you need one, they arent around.

as my panic and frustration grew i finally threw the quarter onto the street, in hopes that i wouldnt be plagued by it anymore. im probably going to hell.

hard catholic

there will be blood

whoa

i love when old people have facespace. well, honestly - its weird, but ill make an exception because they do wonderful things like this.....

thats my brother on the left. cool enough for izod, not cool enough for pac-man.

success!

the raw food diet works! godfrey is eating his bloody meat patty without the aid of kibble. i dont think hes eating as much as hes supposed to yet - but he has no other options.

on another note, ive officially become a cat person. ive refrained from gushing about my sense of accomplishment and feelings of pride for godfrey on this diet. it could have gotten nauseating.

ive taken a turn for the worst. soon i will amass many cats and start preparing the raw food patties myself via homemade recipes. im sorry, ive been lost. theres no return. take it or leave it.

sexuality defines me

fan club

theres h8 in someones heart. i wasnt the primary target - but i was in there. and i might have perpetuated it a little.

this girl ive met twice and thought was a decent human turned out to be crazy. apparently she hates brad and me enough to de-friend us on facespace and blog about the hatred. granted, i didnt realize this until someone mentioned she blogged and i went to make fun of it, only to find she had erased me from her life and publicly stated her distain.

but - the fact she isnt really on my radar, yet put so much effort into hating me - that makes me cool right?

i guess i am writing a blog about her... damn.

why i read

raw

so far, switching godfrey to raw food has been a big FAIL.

i attempted to follow the transition directions, but he only likes treats if theyre, well - a treat. he doesnt want anything to do with it. ive even tried mixing it with his other food to trick him. at this point, hes so hungry, when he sees me giving him more food he rushes to the bowl. only to sniff it for a second, stare resentfully at me and walk away. without eating.

doesnt he know i have his best interest in mind?! i want him to be healthy and pretty. the fact that hell be calmer and want to cuddle more is just a bonus..

he has become slightly more docile. though, its probably because hes starving and has no energy.

riddle

what has two arms, two legs, two heads, a bad attitude and no future?

i need a life

this weekend i got too drunk. i talked to a lot of new people, some i liked and some i didnt... but i was too drunk for it. i'm stupid.

this weekend i celebrated valentine's day. that was fun. actually, it was really good - but ill save the gory details.

this weekend i got drunk again. it wasnt my fault. brad and i found a bar where the bartender always wants to give us free drinks. so we keep going back. still - it was stupid.

this weekend i started godfrey on a raw food diet. probably not stupid.

v-day

godfrey's tale

ill admit

i did something im not proud of. i did it more than once, so i guess i wasnt that ashamed of it. i will probably do this again seeing as i cant stop myself from doing things i shouldnt and neglecting things i should.

i went tanning. every tuesday for the past month.

that means im everything i hate. everything ive always made fun of. but, you know, i used the justification that it's winter and i have mondo seasonal depression. if i wasnt going to murder everyone around me or myself, i needed this.

also, im not duped by people working on commission. they could give a fuck what i like/want/need, they just like/want/need a fat paycheck. id been shoving this tanning girl off for the past month when she asked me to buy lotions. this week i decided to give in and purchased a sample packet. bad idea.

i tan really easily anyway, and when you add a lotion to the mix, youd think i came straight off the reservation. i am currently the color of a tomato. i cant go out in public because i obviously look like ive been tanning. i dont want that ridicule. also, i cant move or shower correctly.

im such an idiot.

puzzle sexualist

obviously as you grow up, you learn more about yourself. as youre exposed to new things and experience different people/cultures/lifestyles, you in turn, develop a deeper understanding of your personal lifestyle and culture.

as many of you have probably seen, the video on object sexualism has opened my eyes.

i am an object sexual.

i dont want to have loving relationships with buildings or carnival rides, however - i love puzzles.

puzzles have been a craze in my home recently. juanita's bodega happens to be my favorite. i guess you could say she's my number one lova. oh, yes. im a straight object sexual.

i get the smooth feelings of love from her glossy coat. learning about her through the history she experienced before landing in my life deepens our relationship. sharing those moments of piecing her together, committing to memory her every inch only brings us closer. i love her rounded edges. when she is finally complete, the sensation of running my fingers over her smooth yet shallowly ridged surface is a spiritual experience. moving her to stretch apart and scrunch together brings an added appreciation for the strength of her character.

this is love my friends. a love i never want to lose. i feel whole and pure. i will not hide in the shadows, i will not quiet my love. I AM A PUZZLE SEXUAL!

career move

The Walrus Magazine Promo

horrible things

last night, something horrible happened. it shook my home to the core. none of us will ever be the same. the shock will forever be in our hearts and there is no turning back to how things used to be. a pivotal moment happened last night around 9:45 p.m.

our mouse renesmee ate ja'mie. one minute they were cuddling and carrying on as they always had. the next minute, we looked to find half of ja'mie. literally.

renesmee was carrying on as though nothing had happened. like he wasnt a cannibal.

i only looked for a moment, but i heard in detail that ja'mie was attacked from behind, his skin ripped back from his skull. renesmee didnt even have the courage to face his opponent head on. he's a coward.

ja'mie was a bitch anyway, who was prone to biting. which is kind of ironic since renesmee bit him to death. renesmee was the fat ugly one. he was tots jeals that ja'mie was pretty. the pretty ones are always the bitches though. revenge.

affirmations

in reaction to recent events, a group of my peers decided we would affirm each other. we've had enough with other people bringing us down and condemning our actions. actions, which, arent bad. we're not drug addicts or exceptionally cruel people. in actuality, we're good people with positive things to do/say.

which is why, we'll be affirming often. it was decided that telling the real reasons we love each other will do a lot more good than criticizing what to fix. it obviously feels a lot better to know the people around you want to be there for specific reasons. this is also great on the self esteem.

i wish more people would do this. stop being so cynical and indirectly selfish. as the age old rule of thumb goes - you're only bringing people down to lift yourself up. well, turns out - you feel a hell of a lot better about yourself if you bring people up with you.

of the moment

not ok

today i was casually watching felicity on the couch. felicity is my new tv obsession. i have these. i'll watch one show for about a week straight, watch nothing else and pretty much do nothing else. felicity is my now. im also realizing that i was probably really affected by this show when i was 13 and there's a strong possibility it was formative to my life.

i digress..

while i was watching my thirteenth year, brad came home and said three kids from the high school down the street were in our stairwell smoking pot. he said they had gotten up to leave when they saw him, but i felt obligated to check it out. i opened the door and heard footsteps abruptly start down the stairs.

in my best tough guy voice i said, 'get out' followed by, 'NOW'. i heard a meek, 'fuck you man' which i responded to with 'all the way!'.

it worked. they left. sometimes our door doesnt completely lock, this was one of those times. who does that though? do you walk down the street checking each walk up to see if one is unlocked? smoke in the alley like everyone else! i mean.... seriously?!

im the boss