8.12.2008

give me wings

i was vehemently against red bull. it tastes like crap, it looks like crap, it contains crap. it's only refreshing when served with jager.

the hell that entraps me 8-5, M-F basically serves red bull on tap. i resisted for more than two months.

i was about to snooze at my desk when i realized, that's a bad idea. i decided to bite the bullet and go for a red bull. not that sugar free shit infants and the elderly drink - straight to the original. i wanted my body and mind to be vitalized with taurine.

something ran through my veins that i couldn't explain. i truly felt as though two red bulls were butting heads - except the golden sun behind them was my heart and it beat faster and faster with each thrust of the horns. i was so efficient, things came so clearly. it DID increase concentration and it DID improve reaction speed. my performance WAS improved ESPECIALLY during times of increased stress or strain. i didn't need to be here for nine hours everyday; i could accomplish an entire week's worth of tasks in 10 min!

i got another one. the bulls got bigger. I AM A GOLDEN GOD!

i had to stop after that because i didn't want to have a heart attack.

i've been hooked ever since. i save them for afternoon treats and have at least two a day. i don't know how i functioned before.

with my habit of binge drinking, pack-a-day cigs, junk food diet and now red bull - i'll live to see 27. maybe.


1 comment:

Brad Kronz said...

think of our children