i'm a bitch

this may come as no surprise to some of you.... but i'm an asshole. i'm pretty sure this started at conception. my parents must have been fighting and got so turned on by the intense rage running through them that they effed - producing me. i can't come up with any other reason besides my remarkably low self esteem, which is a result of my parents anyway so F U MOM AND DAD!

i was mean in elementary school, especially when a girl had such a big crush on me that she wrote me a love letter. being the stupid shit i was, i read it aloud to all my friends and then tore it up in her face. i've since apologized to her for that...

middle school was a wake up call when i had bad clothes, acne and clear braces. you'd think this experience would help me see the error of my ways. NOT! i just got bitter and jaded at the ripe age of 13.

i was sneaky in high school. i bottled up my douche so much that i would just stop talking to people i wanted to be mean to. i also took it out on my family, which, as stated before, i blame for all my problems. i felt claustrophobic in that awkward leave it to beaver world ed and marilyn were trying to create.

i've tried taking it out on random strangers. being a condescending fuck didn't make me feel better. instead, i just felt bad about being mean and then got meaner to the people around me. inside i'm screaming, 'stop! you're just being mean - for no good reason! KNOCK IT OFF!' outside i'm ripping the victim to shreds with my words.

if only i'd listened in 3rd grade when they told us you will not feel better about yourself by making others feel bad.

man - i'm so fucking emo.