ill admit

i did something im not proud of. i did it more than once, so i guess i wasnt that ashamed of it. i will probably do this again seeing as i cant stop myself from doing things i shouldnt and neglecting things i should.

i went tanning. every tuesday for the past month.

that means im everything i hate. everything ive always made fun of. but, you know, i used the justification that it's winter and i have mondo seasonal depression. if i wasnt going to murder everyone around me or myself, i needed this.

also, im not duped by people working on commission. they could give a fuck what i like/want/need, they just like/want/need a fat paycheck. id been shoving this tanning girl off for the past month when she asked me to buy lotions. this week i decided to give in and purchased a sample packet. bad idea.

i tan really easily anyway, and when you add a lotion to the mix, youd think i came straight off the reservation. i am currently the color of a tomato. i cant go out in public because i obviously look like ive been tanning. i dont want that ridicule. also, i cant move or shower correctly.

im such an idiot.