imagine

obsessed?

contrary to popular belief, i dated girls once. my ginger ex was in town this weekend. she mentioned i might be crazy.

crazy in respect to my cat.

sure, i got his face tattooed on my body 4ever and i call him my baby boyfriend. but doesnt everybody love their pets? to some extreme? its not that weird i got him tattooed. its not like, 'man, i used to love tweety bird, but now my interests have matured and i feel stupid for having him tattooed on the middle of my lower back.' ill love godfrey for a lifetime.

he might not be the sweetest cat. and he might not show any affection. he might even ruin my roommates couch - but he makes me happy.

i dont believe in crazy cat people. they just have a lot of love to give.

keeper

this is what took care of me throughout my recovery.

he waited on me hand and broken foot. i think i appreciated it.

hes an ok guy.

milk

i had my first team meeting at work today.

my team was nice enough to get a cookie cake that said 'welcome drew'.

i was in charge of cutting said cookie cake.

when i finished cutting it, i wiped the excess frosting onto the box.

a gasp broke out among the team.

who knew frosting was such a big deal?

so it is

tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. for the time being.

i start a new job tomorrow - well see where this goes.

in other news - i think i partook in a hippie, communal, jam, party fest this weekend. thank god brads roommate built a yurt. i dont know how i would have gotten my fix of folksy, snug, geometrically perfect party time in the city.

new

because ill love him 4eva and money never last$

move bitch

i have a homie walk. or a g stride. maybe i'm str8 thuggin it. whichever you chose, this boot makes me limp like the people wearing baggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps.

do people look at me now and say, 'what a bad ass' or 'im afraid of him' in the same way they do others with my stride? those that choose to walk with a limp and a slide - did their mothers strap a walking boot on them as toddlers?

i might keep this walk when im healed to solidify my street cred.

fave

4life

i broke my tibia and all i got was a scar and a metal rod... and a walking boot for a month.

at least i still get to ride the carts at target.

beginnings?

i have a doctor appt tomorrow. they don't tell me much - but i think im getting this shit off. maybe ill have a walking boot? they told me it would be over in six weeks and six weeks its been. i can tell because my leg is reallllly skinny.

ive gotten used to sitting around the house. tv is my new bff. what am i going to do with this new found freedom?!! i dont think im going to drink much. that will not be on the list.

i think ill clean my apt. then i will dance. i will dance like youve never seen anyone dance before. i will break records for dancing. i will tear through floors with my mad moves. i will rain sweat from my body in honor of the dance. if there is a dance party, i! will! find! it! i will make mass street choreographed dances a reality! I WILL DANCE!

am i the only one who remembers this?!!

reading list

its time to start a book club. i think this should be the summer of salinger. i want to re-read all i have and read the ones i havent. i want to discuss them while drinking sangria in the afternoon and scotch at night. possibly throw a cigar in the mix.

there is something about him that makes me feel electric, creative and invincible. im gay. but whos with me?

chim and hilary - i feel like you might be down. hopefully i wont want to kill john lennon.

what the what?

when youre broken, people think they can talk to you. always. anywhere.

today i was riding the elevator down from the train and this lady asked me about my leg. all the usual questions, what happened? is it broken? how long will you be like this? i usually just answer all forthcoming questions after the first to save time and hopefully prove to them i dont want to be bothered. youd think that attempting to maneuver around chicago and the outlying suburbs would be enough of a clue im not up for chit chat.

the lady mentioned that my leg would hurt whenever it was cold or raining. to prove her knowledge correct, she began to tell me why she personally has this problem. with her seven year old daughter by her side she said she broke four toes. she did this by kicking her ex-husband 'in the privates'. another man asked how you break four toes kicking someone in the dick and she said after she kicked him once, she just kept kicking.

excuse me?!!

she said all this with a half retarded smile on her face.

the "sprain"

remember when casey kasem came to the max for a dance-a-thon and everyone from bayside was determined to win?

more importantly, remember that lisa turtle sprained her ankle and they created the winning dance move called the turtle?

i need to rock that move.

and if you can find a rocking clip of that online ill love you foreva.




UPDATE



thanks kate

big

this is my third week of being cooped up... i think. ive had a lot of time now to watch/read things and reflect.

last night i watched big fish. the movie obviously makes mention of being around to do big things. im starting to think im around to do big things.

i didnt die. and im not paralyzed. im going to walk away from this (literally) without any repercussions. thats kind of major. i was thinking - things havent been difficult for me. ive gotten to this point in my life with minimal crisis and im doing better than most. but - i can do better.

without god or whatever, this happened for a reason and its to show me that i can do more than i am. i am better than the job i kind of have and im better than the lifestyle im kind of living. i need to jump into that bigger pond and do something with my life.

i just need to figure out what that is..... maybe ill figure that out in the next half of this detour.

to do:

i would like to accomplish these things once my leg has healed...

- walk
- walk down the street
- shower. by myself
- visit friends at their homes
- dance
- go out to dinner
- go to a party (and not drink (a lot))
- ride my bike
- dance
- take bowie on a walk
- chase godfrey to cuddle
- clean my apt
- take out the garbage
- check the mail
- go see the hangover and up
- dance
- dance
- dance
- go grocery shopping
- go shopping
- carry things
- dance

tibia

it feels like theres a metal rod in my leg replacing my bone. oh - there is.

this morning it hurt more than usual, i suspected it was bc of the weather. will my leg expand and creak every time it rains now? at the ripe old age of 23, will the words uttered by ancient people spill from my lips?

the hardest thing about being immobile - next to seeing every tv show available - is going to bed. you would think that laying around all day, my leg would find a comfy zone. or that the pain would stay strong throughout the day. nope. once i lay down to slumber it decides to get uncomfortable. no matter how i position it - pain. there are about three different positions i can try. my leg completely extended, bent at the knee and strategically placed so as to lay on my side. none of these work.

ive even stopped taking my pain meds during the day and only take it at night in hopes ill knock myself out pain free. nope.

i have a new appreciation for pain free mobility.

im back

sort of.

im back in chicago. my parents didnt want to care for me in the first place and were scheming to send me back. i gave them a reason in the form of breaking things. besides my tibia.

ive come to find out that the family ive created for myself of friends is better than the family god gave me. besides my sister. shell always be awesome.

my family thinks im a spoiled, ungrateful brat and they use that as justification to look past the changes and growth in me. as well as an excuse not to care about me getting better.

my friends have been a huge support because they realize im not a waste of space and know there are special things about me. theyve been supportive no matter what - especially now while i recover. i dont think i would trade any of them for anything. theyre magical.

i love the family i chose for myself.

oops

i broke my tibia. i fell off my balcony. apparently everything bad ive ever done finally caught up with me. falling three stories and landing on a fence probably should have killed/paralyzed me. thats what everyones been telling me.

maybe its too fresh - but im probably supposed to gain wisdom and perspective from this. i havent. i could say, 'ive found who truly cares about me and the friends that are real.' the truth is - i could have predicted how everyone reacted. there werent any surprises.

ill probably drink less and not fall off balconies after this, but beyond that - it hasnt given me a clearer perspective on my life. after three more weeks of gimping around i might tell a different story.

and hopin'

not that im especially superstitious, but i always wish on eye lashes, stars and the clock. while thats not terribly superstitious - the anxiety i get from these activities would say otherwise.

maybe its wrong, but i wish any time the clock has the same numbers all the way across. this includes 1:11 and such. some say that doesnt count and you can only wish at times like 11:11. false. i also have to repeat the wish verbally the number of times the clock shows. twice for 2:22, twelve times for 12:12. if i dont make it - the wish will not come true. i also have to blow a kiss after wishing at every clock i see that reads the time. hence the anxiety. its an effing process to make my dreams come true.

eyelashes are slightly easier - but i also cheat to myself. traditionally, i would need to close the eyelash between my thumb and pointer finger while guessing which finger it will end up on when i pull them apart. if i get this wrong - wish is over, no good. however, if i get it right i can continue. i then make a wish, and blow it off my finger. if it does not blow off - wish is over, no good. if it does, my dreams will come true. i havent been doing the first step recently and i believe thats been detrimental. hence, my anxiety - but also, that whole process is anxiety ridden.

i should just stick to birthday candles. anxiety once a year.

im going down

in true train wreck fashion, my weekend was a hot mess.

it all started innocently enough with a family dinner at mi tierra. once you add the live mariachi band, four pitchers of margaritas, a personalized sombrero and a sparkler cup cake - things get tainted.

if that experience wasnt enough for me, next i trotted over to uncle fattys. i was unaware this place existed and i wish i still was. it was repeatedly referred to as my new haircut. true.

after drinking that away, i stumble home to find an entire band at my apt. granted - they were probably 17 years old and mormon.

all in all it was pretty difficult to wake up for a graduation today.

oh, and i found this online.... when my friend turned this in the teacher asked if i was on drugs. nope. thats just me at 20.

lame-o

as of late, my life has been uninteresting. i take that back. its really interesting, in an uninteresting way.

settling in with new roommates is always fun. learning anything and everything about each other while getting obliterated is something i do best. but im starting to get bored. or at least, im ready for an adventure.

well, ive had plenty of adventures this weekend - but i guess my summer craving has been peaked and now im on the look out for more. how can you beat a weekend of fun dipping, art showing, party crashing, never-have-i-evering, crush awkwarding and bk lounging? you really cant. im a firm believer that all of the above are what life is about.

gimmie more. soon. now. fast.

oh yea, and theres this new lady in my life...

happy mom day

the weekends are destroying me. my mother would be disappointed.

maybe ill look into philanthropic efforts today, in honor of mothering.

maybe ill just eat burger king and watch tv.

all in the family

im a father of three now. godfrey is learning how to share. he doesnt do that well.

what he does do well is rape. he attempts rape on rosie about 5x a day. its pretty hott. rosies starting to like it though, i caught her sniffing his butt and licking him. theres love in this apt - that means its good.

godfreys step-brother bowie might be my new bff. i love him.

i have internet kinda

i feel like an addict finally getting my fix.

today i was waiting for the bus after a day that was too long. these girls who were no older (generously) than 16 were waiting at the same stop.

one of the girls was having a phone conversation and all i heard was 'it couldnt be your baby. she slept with him a week and a half ago.' prior to this, she was asking the boy on the other line about the girls menstrual cycle, acting as an expert on when and how a girl can get pregnant. judging by the information she was spouting, she is going to get pregnant very soon.

now, this whole situation was shocking, but what was even more shocking - the sexperts two friends were nonchalantly listening to this conversation unfold. at one point, one turns to the other and says, 'im really horny'.

i 'bout lost it.