fuck it

so, things havent been the best lately and i have such a hard time getting the energy to make anything different happen.

ok - sure i can get caught up in how awful my life is while realizing that only i can make it better and getting down on myself not knowing how and realizing that i just have to do it and feeling burdened by the actuality of doing something and the stupid cycle goes on and on and on.

tonight though, i decided. whenever i start to feel shitty about my situation, im going to let someone in my life know how happy/proud/inspired i am by them. sort of a pay-it-forward kind of thing.

i believe this will selfishly make me feel like a good person while selflessly making someone else feel special. maybe it will turn into motivation....

lets see how this goes... and look out for some messages friends.