why do things have to change? why dont i like change? i wish i could go back to being 17. that was a really good time. i didnt have responsibilities and everything seemed to be at my fingertips.

now things are changing, probably for the better... but i dont feel that sense of hope i did when i was 17. now all change feels daunting and the unknown freaks me the eff out. if things could just be constant and stable for a good six months, i would probably feel ok.

my college's motto was create change. uh.... ok. sure. i think if i was creating it, id feel better about it. but the truth is, the change is creating me. that doesnt sit well.



im really into party questions and games. they might be taken as at the expense of someone else, but theyre really not. im not trying to make people uncomfortable, well, ok - im trying to make people uncomfortable. but its all in good fun!

the questions can be construed as offensive and the conversation is usually putting people on the spot. but if people want to earn my respect, they should play along. i love it when people "get it". what i dont love is when people dont "get it".

example: this weekend i asked what the % or fine line between gay and deaf was.

its not that hard. take what im saying at face value and appease me by playing along. keep the joke going. up the ante. you FAIL if you stare at me like im an idiot and act like the questions are beneath you. i cant help it if you dont understand. the questions are actually highly developed and by answering them youll show personality and wit. duh.

get with it people.



cause i need more...




im not too into bragging, but i might be the best boyfriend ever?

brad's grandpa died recently and apparently he was kind of famous. i used my pr skills and made a few phone calls. i got them to make a copy of the interview recording and send it my way.

that earned a few points with his family, right?



im a statistic now. more than i was before. today i filed for unemployment.

maybe my parents shouldnt have aided in supporting me and abetted me through a sense of obligation. i stopped living off daddy warbucks awhile ago and now ive switched to uncle sam.

daddy warbucks pays better.

this is a humbling experience. it makes me want money. ive probably wanted money before, but thought i was above it or something. hell-effin-NO. i want that shit now. give me money. give me all the money i can take.

im taking applications for a non-sexual sugar daddy. im also taking applications for cooking me dinner.

inquire within.



long story short - in rock city this weekend, some douche tried to choke me. little did he know, YOU DONT FUCK WITH ME! i won.

on a lighter note - saw sic alps in evanston tonight. it was sic...... alps. i want to reside in that venue.



i typically hate 3:30 in my neighborhood because of the high school. i now understand what grown ups always meant when they said large groups of teenagers made them uncomfortable. they make me uncomfortable.

today wasnt exactly like that - but i thought id throw it in.

brad and i were walking home around this time today and a group of high school boys jovially made a comment about gay lovers as they passed us. in reaction, i put my arm around brads waist and smiled at them over my shoulder. it got a rise out of them.

upon further discussion, i wondered how hateful their comments were, or if they were light hearted. i suppose it doesnt matter if it doesnt offend me. if you laugh back/with them, can it be demeaning?


a happening

brad's showing in detroit this weekend. everyone whos cool will be there.

are you cool?