smart

i'm not sure why i went to college. i guess i learned some stuff about stuff. i also made a few friends or something. but really, all the education i needed i could have gotten from the original 90210.

not only have i learned how to study for things like SATs and how to get A+ on tests, or even how to successfully run a school newspaper i've also learned a lot of street smarts.

it's tots not that hard to save someone who is drunk from drowning in the ocean, and AA is a great place to meet hot babes. i've learned that betting is a dark road and even the most virtuous people can get caught in the addictive trap. eating disorders are no laughing matter and even if you want to stop going to the meetings, you have to because everyone has problems and you can learn a lot from theirs too.

sometimes you have to be the bigger person and let your bff take your ex-bf. if you have an energy crystal around your neck, nothing can stop you. also, if your dad dies... write a book!

if you want to break into the music industry, all you have to do is get one of your loaded high school friends to represent you and chances are, one of the biggest producers in the biz will produce you. you'll have to sell your soul and fire your bud - but hey! you're famous!

also, you don't have to have sex with your significant other. sometimes god is more important, and sometimes even if you do have sex, you'll have a pregnancy scare duh, but it'll tots be fine if you tell your parents about it!

overall, all you really need are friends. it's the best idea to sleep with all of them at some point. even if you can't get down their pants, at least love them from afar for three years. you'll all stay friends and hang out in the hallways during class every day.

last but not least, even if you're 31 years old you can for sure be valedictorian.