i accidentally opened all my christmas presents already.

none from friends came wrapped, so that wasnt hard.

my sister sent me presents that i opened last week. i opened these bc half were for my ex boo. my sisters sweet, but sorta awkward.

after months of not talking to my mother, i got an email not so out of the blue. it simply said 'i sent a package to you. it should arrive before christmas. look out for it.'

i got the package this week. i was going to hold off on opening them until christmas eve (when my family traditionally opens gifts) bc only one present was for my ex boo.

this wasnt as awkward coming from my mother as it was from my sister. my sister asked if itd be appropriate to send those gifts, i told her to do whatever she wants. my mother was just trying to be nice.

my mother tried really hard with her presents. she got me some clothes ill probably actually wear and a collection of short stories by one of my fave authors.

i also got a tiny envelope with a pencil, matches, note cards and blue paper. the instructions describe writing a wish, configure the papers together and lighting them to carry your wishes away in a spark of blue fire.

i wish she hadnt been the bigger person.

i wish i would have purchased even one christmas present this year.

i wish i wasnt such a jerk.



my team at work is donating $$ to the chicago house to help those lil nuggets go ice skating... were very giving.

the team is also taking a trip to the christkindlmarket for a special treat. in all the years ive been in chicago and all the years of my german heritage, ive never been. ive already been told i cannot drink any glog since well be there during werk hours. whatevz.

whenever anyone refers to our special outing (to take place tomorrow afternoon) they call it the christkindlmarket instead of just the christmas village. this really gets under my skin.


long duck dong

ive made some new friends. i dont know their names bc we havent reached that point in our relationship yet and bc i havent read their name tags.

the ladies at the chinese place in the food court of work know me. that probably means i go there too often. whenever i get in line we have a nod of recognition and awkward grunts with smiles supposedly meaning 'how are you doing?' 'i'm fine'.

granted, they dont know my order yet so we mustnt be the best of friends... but at least they try and give me the same wrong thing each time. thats sayin something.


its cold in here

man-o-man... judging from my posts the last half of this year, youd think i was a real emo kid. that could be partially true.

but now things are getting real emo. my roommates mom is really sick, which doesnt lend itself to a carefree environment. kellys probably my best friend so think of her mom plz.

this first snow hasnt had a pleasant effect on me either. instead, it has made me feel cold, isolated and lonely. i h8 winter. its ghey.

ive also come to realize i dont have enough sad lonely women on my ipod, so i cant even listen to music that reflects my mood.

and ive failed miserably with this months book club selection.
and blogging at work effs up my formatting...... grrrr