for kim

today at work i had to call doctors. naturally, this would scare you right?

most places where doctors work have, basically, the exact same messaging system to filter calls. they all start with 'if you are experience a medical emergency, hang up and call 911' one of them said, 'if you're experiencing a true medical emergency call ###-####'. i dont know, if i was experiencing a medical emergency, i probably wouldnt have the brain capacity or bodily capacity to remember/write down a seven digit number.

my favorite places are the ones who have music playing while they put me on hold. not elevator music, but radio stations of classic rock, light rock, or oldies. i think there was something wrong with some states radio/my phone because it would be playing a song and all of a sudden this death voice would replace the pop singer and finish the lyrics. i likened it to the voice of the scream guy.

my favorite one was the marvin gaye song whats going on when marvin sang 'mother mother theres too many of you crying' followed by the grim reaper singing, 'brother brother brother theres too many of you dying'.



i started packing my life up today. i always knew i didnt have a lot of stuff, but now im realizing i really dont have a lot of stuff. i think im basically done, minus a few odds and ends and some more clothing, but i've only filled up three boxes and five bags of clothes.

maybe instead of moving into an apt, i should buy an rv and live out of that.


they are fighting

why are zombies cool? i thought that fad came and left already, but it feels like it lingers. or maybe its more like a trend instead of a fad. can zombies be a trend? maybe theyre classic. i dont really like zombies.

i probably respect people less if they a) talk about zombies, b) theorize about zombies, c) joke about zombies, d) suggest i watch a movie about zombies or e) are a zombie.

i dont find anything appealing about them. i dont think theyre funny or relevant. i cant even think of any more things to criticize about them, thats how lame they are.



all the single ladies

i got a divorce. im looking to experiment with girls.

take a number and give me your measurements. ill treat you badly, fuck you madly and wont make you breakfast.


here i come

the time has come to move off the grid. or, for the majority of people i know - smack dab in the middle of it.

thats right folks. im moving to the west side in may. no more simplicity of the north.

i will frolic among the hipsters and glide through the bicycles. i will enter into the bubble that prevents people from ever leaving. im excited.

the apt is pretty bomb. there will be a warming. so you betta come.



two things

after a cig break at work today, i almost ran into an old man. he was shuffling in place, not moving. as i went through the door into the building i looked back after him. he continued shuffling in place and then started walking at a normal pace. he was just warming up.

secondly, i was on the train going home and i looked out the window at one stop to see a man wearing sweatpants. he kept these sweatpants up by pulling the waste cord at the front of the pants up around his neck. so he kind of had a sweatpant necklace or sweatpant halter depending on how you looked at it.