coal

i accidentally opened all my christmas presents already.

none from friends came wrapped, so that wasnt hard.

my sister sent me presents that i opened last week. i opened these bc half were for my ex boo. my sisters sweet, but sorta awkward.

after months of not talking to my mother, i got an email not so out of the blue. it simply said 'i sent a package to you. it should arrive before christmas. look out for it.'

i got the package this week. i was going to hold off on opening them until christmas eve (when my family traditionally opens gifts) bc only one present was for my ex boo.

this wasnt as awkward coming from my mother as it was from my sister. my sister asked if itd be appropriate to send those gifts, i told her to do whatever she wants. my mother was just trying to be nice.

my mother tried really hard with her presents. she got me some clothes ill probably actually wear and a collection of short stories by one of my fave authors.

i also got a tiny envelope with a pencil, matches, note cards and blue paper. the instructions describe writing a wish, configure the papers together and lighting them to carry your wishes away in a spark of blue fire.

i wish she hadnt been the bigger person.

i wish i would have purchased even one christmas present this year.

i wish i wasnt such a jerk.