maybe quit smoking.
drink less.
be nice to people.
change the world.
12.31.2008
12.30.2008
12.29.2008
ruckus
recently i've had the urge to start a ruckus. i just want to start shit. nothing extremist, nothing illegal, just a regular ruckus.
when i checked ruckus to see if i was spelling and using it correctly, this is what my dictionary told me it meant..... weird.
when i checked ruckus to see if i was spelling and using it correctly, this is what my dictionary told me it meant..... weird.
12.27.2008
smart
i'm not sure why i went to college. i guess i learned some stuff about stuff. i also made a few friends or something. but really, all the education i needed i could have gotten from the original 90210.
not only have i learned how to study for things like SATs and how to get A+ on tests, or even how to successfully run a school newspaper i've also learned a lot of street smarts.
it's tots not that hard to save someone who is drunk from drowning in the ocean, and AA is a great place to meet hot babes. i've learned that betting is a dark road and even the most virtuous people can get caught in the addictive trap. eating disorders are no laughing matter and even if you want to stop going to the meetings, you have to because everyone has problems and you can learn a lot from theirs too.
sometimes you have to be the bigger person and let your bff take your ex-bf. if you have an energy crystal around your neck, nothing can stop you. also, if your dad dies... write a book!
if you want to break into the music industry, all you have to do is get one of your loaded high school friends to represent you and chances are, one of the biggest producers in the biz will produce you. you'll have to sell your soul and fire your bud - but hey! you're famous!
also, you don't have to have sex with your significant other. sometimes god is more important, and sometimes even if you do have sex, you'll have a pregnancy scare duh, but it'll tots be fine if you tell your parents about it!
overall, all you really need are friends. it's the best idea to sleep with all of them at some point. even if you can't get down their pants, at least love them from afar for three years. you'll all stay friends and hang out in the hallways during class every day.
last but not least, even if you're 31 years old you can for sure be valedictorian.
not only have i learned how to study for things like SATs and how to get A+ on tests, or even how to successfully run a school newspaper i've also learned a lot of street smarts.
it's tots not that hard to save someone who is drunk from drowning in the ocean, and AA is a great place to meet hot babes. i've learned that betting is a dark road and even the most virtuous people can get caught in the addictive trap. eating disorders are no laughing matter and even if you want to stop going to the meetings, you have to because everyone has problems and you can learn a lot from theirs too.
sometimes you have to be the bigger person and let your bff take your ex-bf. if you have an energy crystal around your neck, nothing can stop you. also, if your dad dies... write a book!
if you want to break into the music industry, all you have to do is get one of your loaded high school friends to represent you and chances are, one of the biggest producers in the biz will produce you. you'll have to sell your soul and fire your bud - but hey! you're famous!
also, you don't have to have sex with your significant other. sometimes god is more important, and sometimes even if you do have sex, you'll have a pregnancy scare duh, but it'll tots be fine if you tell your parents about it!
overall, all you really need are friends. it's the best idea to sleep with all of them at some point. even if you can't get down their pants, at least love them from afar for three years. you'll all stay friends and hang out in the hallways during class every day.
last but not least, even if you're 31 years old you can for sure be valedictorian.
12.24.2008
fa la la la la
im in chicago. i won't be eating taco salad with my five nephews and new niece. i won't be receiving hickery farm cheese boxes at the lottinville family christmas party.
i'll probably order pizza, watch old episodes of 90210 and drink left over wine.
happy fucking holidays.
i'll probably order pizza, watch old episodes of 90210 and drink left over wine.
happy fucking holidays.
12.21.2008
12.18.2008
homaha
i'll be going back to my roots soon. sometimes i reminisce about times when i was young, getting in trouble, thinking i knew shit about shit and i think it'd be nice to live there again.
then i get sucked back into reality with facespace. i look at my friends and get jealous of their escapades. then i look at the other kids. the ones that still call each other fags in a non-ironic sort of way. the ones that are still hanging out in the same basements with the same people since 7th grade.
it's sad to see how insecure a lot of those people still are. i guess i would be too if i was in the same situation i was five years ago. i have trouble getting over that shit 472 miles away.
omaha has some good qualities - but open-mindedness isn't one of them. traveling the world can give you some insight into bigger things, but if you just go back to where you started what good is it besides drink conversation and a more exotic facespace profile?
i probably don't give these kids enough credit, and maybe my world view is skewed... but fuck. grow up.
then i get sucked back into reality with facespace. i look at my friends and get jealous of their escapades. then i look at the other kids. the ones that still call each other fags in a non-ironic sort of way. the ones that are still hanging out in the same basements with the same people since 7th grade.
it's sad to see how insecure a lot of those people still are. i guess i would be too if i was in the same situation i was five years ago. i have trouble getting over that shit 472 miles away.
omaha has some good qualities - but open-mindedness isn't one of them. traveling the world can give you some insight into bigger things, but if you just go back to where you started what good is it besides drink conversation and a more exotic facespace profile?
i probably don't give these kids enough credit, and maybe my world view is skewed... but fuck. grow up.
12.15.2008
12.14.2008
12.09.2008
throw away the key
i feel like i'm slowly going insane, yet everything is getting clearer. by doing nothing i've begun to feel i'm consistently getting closer to my goal. i've had deja vu more in the past month than ever before. this could be linked to increased insanity - but i'd prefer to believe this signifies my life heading in the right direction.
i might be building to something monumental, steadily trudging a path to significance. my problem, however, is apathy. there isn't much of anything i care strongly about other than cigarettes, my hair and who wants to drink with me. those are surely signs of decay.
maybe, it all comes down to the fact i feel something is going to happen. different obscure pieces of my life are coming into focus and weaving this logical web i can't help but recognize. by sitting back watching and waiting i believe the solution will present itself.
i have a fire and however misdirected it can be right now, it's there - eventually i'll get the final piece to this puzzle and decoupage that shit into a frame.
i might be building to something monumental, steadily trudging a path to significance. my problem, however, is apathy. there isn't much of anything i care strongly about other than cigarettes, my hair and who wants to drink with me. those are surely signs of decay.
maybe, it all comes down to the fact i feel something is going to happen. different obscure pieces of my life are coming into focus and weaving this logical web i can't help but recognize. by sitting back watching and waiting i believe the solution will present itself.
i have a fire and however misdirected it can be right now, it's there - eventually i'll get the final piece to this puzzle and decoupage that shit into a frame.
12.06.2008
12.05.2008
pussy
i remember when my baby looked like this and i thought i loved him a lot then. that was when he was nice and sweet and didnt understand the world yet. before he go distant and secluded and angry. im probably a bad dad. but i love him.
12.04.2008
12.01.2008
rock city
i love detroit.
after a full night at a bar with people i didn't know or care to know we pulled up to a huge industrial warehouse. we walked through the back door and were shuffled into a huge elevator destined for funk night. we rock starred it to the front of the line, made our way to the back of the party where $10 got you a cup of whiskey and a ganga cookie.
after consuming both, it was time to dance. amid a dj, huge projections and an eclectic crowd - we danced. we danced until 6 am. we had our pictures taken on the dance floor and took breaks in a private back room.
the people were fun, looked interesting, were welcoming and actually danced. chicago this was not. no one was segregated, no one gave dirty looks and no one tried to be hipper than the next person.
basically, it was every stereotypical thought i've ever had about detroit and it's awesomeness rolled into one experience.
it probably felt a lot cooler than it actually was, but... the feeling is what makes the experience anyway. i felt at home.
after a full night at a bar with people i didn't know or care to know we pulled up to a huge industrial warehouse. we walked through the back door and were shuffled into a huge elevator destined for funk night. we rock starred it to the front of the line, made our way to the back of the party where $10 got you a cup of whiskey and a ganga cookie.
after consuming both, it was time to dance. amid a dj, huge projections and an eclectic crowd - we danced. we danced until 6 am. we had our pictures taken on the dance floor and took breaks in a private back room.
the people were fun, looked interesting, were welcoming and actually danced. chicago this was not. no one was segregated, no one gave dirty looks and no one tried to be hipper than the next person.
basically, it was every stereotypical thought i've ever had about detroit and it's awesomeness rolled into one experience.
it probably felt a lot cooler than it actually was, but... the feeling is what makes the experience anyway. i felt at home.
11.26.2008
bed
sometimes i lay in bed and wonder why i drank so much the night before.
sometimes i lay in bed dreading doing what im supposed to.
sometimes i lay in bed all day accomplishing nothing.
sometimes i lay in bed and eat.
sometimes i lay in bed and watch stylista on cwtv.com
sometimes i lay in bed and watch porn.
sometimes i lay in bed and don't need to watch porn.
sometimes i lay in bed and creep people i barely know on facebook.
sometimes i lay in bed and cuddle.
sometimes i lay in bed and laugh.
sometimes i lay in bed and cry.
sometimes i lay in bed and smoke.
sometimes i lay in bed and cut my fingernails.
sometimes i lay in bed and blog.
sometimes i lay in bed dreading doing what im supposed to.
sometimes i lay in bed all day accomplishing nothing.
sometimes i lay in bed and eat.
sometimes i lay in bed and watch stylista on cwtv.com
sometimes i lay in bed and watch porn.
sometimes i lay in bed and don't need to watch porn.
sometimes i lay in bed and creep people i barely know on facebook.
sometimes i lay in bed and cuddle.
sometimes i lay in bed and laugh.
sometimes i lay in bed and cry.
sometimes i lay in bed and smoke.
sometimes i lay in bed and cut my fingernails.
sometimes i lay in bed and blog.
11.24.2008
free night
everyone enjoys free. most of the time you have to make free happen for you, other times it comes to you.
friday night started out like any other weekend night, playing edward 40 hands with some of your closest girl friends. i quickly got drunk and sick of sitting around, so a few of us wandered off to a bar. seeing as it's winter time, it was too cold to walk and no one wanted to spend money. we decided to flag down the fateful cab.
i told the cab driver my female friend would show him her boobs if he'd drive us down the street. he told us he didn't need to see the boobs and took us anyway. we were so grateful.
as we entered the bar, before cover happened, brad pulled out a blackberry. he found this in the cab and while we talked about what to do with it - it rang. oddly enough, bradley was on the other line. he inquired as to who i was and where i was and if he could get his phone back. since i'm a nice person i told him to come 'n get it. as the conversation ended he promised, 'the next martini is on me!'
when he got there he was completely wasted and i informed him no one drinks martinis. he bought us all a round of rum and cokes while marveling at how awesome it was he got his phone back and how incredible it was that we were nice enough to give it back. on that note, i made him buy us more drinks. he was so drunk he couldn't sign the bill. i started ignoring him and he finally ghosted. maybe i took advantage of him, but i mean - i could have gotten some $$$ for that phone. and he probably lost it again on the ride home.
then we got a free ride home from my ex-boyfriend. idiot.
friday night started out like any other weekend night, playing edward 40 hands with some of your closest girl friends. i quickly got drunk and sick of sitting around, so a few of us wandered off to a bar. seeing as it's winter time, it was too cold to walk and no one wanted to spend money. we decided to flag down the fateful cab.
i told the cab driver my female friend would show him her boobs if he'd drive us down the street. he told us he didn't need to see the boobs and took us anyway. we were so grateful.
as we entered the bar, before cover happened, brad pulled out a blackberry. he found this in the cab and while we talked about what to do with it - it rang. oddly enough, bradley was on the other line. he inquired as to who i was and where i was and if he could get his phone back. since i'm a nice person i told him to come 'n get it. as the conversation ended he promised, 'the next martini is on me!'
when he got there he was completely wasted and i informed him no one drinks martinis. he bought us all a round of rum and cokes while marveling at how awesome it was he got his phone back and how incredible it was that we were nice enough to give it back. on that note, i made him buy us more drinks. he was so drunk he couldn't sign the bill. i started ignoring him and he finally ghosted. maybe i took advantage of him, but i mean - i could have gotten some $$$ for that phone. and he probably lost it again on the ride home.
then we got a free ride home from my ex-boyfriend. idiot.
11.22.2008
11.19.2008
11.17.2008
crazy/beautiful
i ate lunch at a bar and drank a pitcher of beer. in my unstable emotional/mental state - this was a bad idea.
i went home, took off all my clothes and climbed under the covers in a depressive state. i know, im crazy.
the next thing i know, brad clammers into the room, blasting fergalicious, while wearing only a kurta and hot pink wig. he was also carrying a retractable knife which he used in his interpretive dance.
i then realized, im not the crazy one.
i went home, took off all my clothes and climbed under the covers in a depressive state. i know, im crazy.
the next thing i know, brad clammers into the room, blasting fergalicious, while wearing only a kurta and hot pink wig. he was also carrying a retractable knife which he used in his interpretive dance.
i then realized, im not the crazy one.
11.16.2008
infinite
five o'clock p.m. means nothing when you're unemployed. but on friday night, it signified the beginning of my own infinite playlist. roomie busted into my room with the adventure of traveling to madison for just one night. to see a band. from that second on, everything fell in and out of place perfectly.
we all piled into the car destined for downtown chicago, st. charles and finally the high noon saloon. we got lost on our way to st. charles and it set us back an hour. we finally made it to the suburban hell and successfully accomplished an escape from the beige prison. then we got lost again.
when the bright lights of the capital building finally came into view, we knew we'd made it. we downed a few drinks and prepared to dance. in a mix of hello kitty teenagers and western wear 40 year olds, we were the most important people in the room. i excelled at a dance off with a leather wearing spaz created and judged completely in my own head.
as we dramatically exited the dance floor the band called in the distance, 'hey! where did those kids go?' it was our time.
the night blurred with malibu rum, mom made jello shots and hot tub disney songs.
as we drove back at five in the morning to insure our friend was able to wheel dead bodies around, i felt like a pretend human. but, as the sun rose, i felt alive.
we all piled into the car destined for downtown chicago, st. charles and finally the high noon saloon. we got lost on our way to st. charles and it set us back an hour. we finally made it to the suburban hell and successfully accomplished an escape from the beige prison. then we got lost again.
when the bright lights of the capital building finally came into view, we knew we'd made it. we downed a few drinks and prepared to dance. in a mix of hello kitty teenagers and western wear 40 year olds, we were the most important people in the room. i excelled at a dance off with a leather wearing spaz created and judged completely in my own head.
as we dramatically exited the dance floor the band called in the distance, 'hey! where did those kids go?' it was our time.
the night blurred with malibu rum, mom made jello shots and hot tub disney songs.
as we drove back at five in the morning to insure our friend was able to wheel dead bodies around, i felt like a pretend human. but, as the sun rose, i felt alive.
11.13.2008
new beginnings
now that i'm back, i will prolong the job search by crafting. since my halloween costumes were such a success, and i loved them - i decided to finally get the hobby i've been talking about.
the kentucky democratic party was nice enough to allow me to steal a canvas bag. i'm getting artsy on it's ass. i'm also getting retro on it's ass.
maybe instead of getting a real job, i'll craft for dollarz. i will do hoodie halloween costumes and retro canvas bags.
man. i'm soo hip.
the kentucky democratic party was nice enough to allow me to steal a canvas bag. i'm getting artsy on it's ass. i'm also getting retro on it's ass.
maybe instead of getting a real job, i'll craft for dollarz. i will do hoodie halloween costumes and retro canvas bags.
man. i'm soo hip.
11.07.2008
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